Saturday morning. It has been 36 hours plus without electricity, and I am done with making all sorts of speeches directed towards that much hated, recently re-branded monopoly that supplies us with that commodity – KPLC. I have raved, ranted, tweeted hate and called the concerned numbers in vain, but those folks, it seems, have a steely and constipated resolve not to give a shit. To add insult to injury, the neighbouring buildings bulbs are lighting brightly, so bright they almost burn the nerves in a way that seems to say, “You are children of lesser gods, deal with it bros and brosettes..” I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will have to spend the rest of the weekend back in Stone Ages and a hypothetical digital Dark Age. Never mind that last Saturday, the entire country was plunged into darkness without warning or apology. On Friday, the realization that my life is almost completely dependent on electricity made me toy with the idea of behaving like it did not even exist yet if is restored at any point before Monday.
Saturday afternoon. I’ve decided I’ll do some reading. Save for a collection of Lenin’s (sometimes irritating) collection of speeches, letters and articles by Lenin on Imperialism and another on China’s venture in courting newly-independent Africa in the 60s with reasonable success today (I found out recently that our government-issue condoms are now CHINESE branded, Quandong or some shit like that, ignoring the irony of that joke about penis sizes across the continents – goddamned chinks! ), apart from those two books, I have read pretty much every tangible literature in my possession, everything else being in soft copy format. The last tangible book I bought was Kwani? 06 last year and consumed it within the week. It hits me that 70% of my reading has been entirely web-based – blogs, tweets, articles, that kind of thing. That’s just how we obtain information and get entertained these days (quoting from Laureezy’s blog post). I begin to envy the average man of the 17th and 18th Century, they had the privilege of enjoying the concept of the story primarily at its most basic form – orally, their enjoyment of the same limited only to the audience’s and the story teller’s imagination. The art of conversation was not lost to them or limited to 140 characters at a time. The use of “quite” and “rather” in describing something conveyed different nuances. To say that this state was complete bliss for them is a lie. Books and newspapers blew their minds, the advent of cinema and telecommunication as well, but there was something lost somewhere between then and now, I think – blame capitalism, blame globalization, blame anything else, but something was lost. But that is a story I have told many times before.
Saturday evening. I’ve slept most of the day, in fact as soon as two paragraphs into Lenin. Sleep has been accompanied by a mixture of dreams and nightmares. That kinds of nightmare about a six inch hook deep in your little toe and centipedes, squirming underneath your shirt, yeah. The worst nightmare though is the realization that I simply cannot do without electricity, it has become a basic human right, all the way up there with food and *ahem* internet. It has become an indispensible addiction that fuels other worse addictions. So maybe KPLC’s inefficiency is unintentionally in our best interests to wean us and make us psychologically prepared for the unlikely eventuality that the world goes to shit soon and suddenly. Isn’t 2012 the official year of the End of the World? How prepared are we for a calamitous world where the most basic of needs will be a struggle to find, let alone electricity or internet access? In the Kenyan context, the world has nearly gone to shit more than twice (1982 coup, 1992 clashes, 2007 PEV etc etc) – how ready are we to kick in our survival instincts? Will we be ready to eat our own dogs (they are among the first species to die in apocalypse theories anyway because we have BABIED their survival genes away for thousands of years), will we be ready to re-embark on nomadic lifestyles as our ancestors before us, will we be able to find hope if we do not even know the direction of Mecca or even Mount Kenya? Will we be able to believe that in the blackness of a modern Dark Age there will exist rays of hope?
For those of us who still take lunch at Chips Msimamos – those fast food joints which get so full most you are standing while eating and those sitting eating as fast as the closest standing person because of the shame, the shame, the shame, like that shame of sitting in a face-me mat while a nyanye stands – for us, yes, the economy sucks. Everything seems to appreciate by the hour – fuel, bills, basic commodities, alcohol, data plans, healthcare etc etc. However, we still carry that blind faith that certain commodity process will never change. At certain point, the list of “untouchables” was rather long, ranging from salt to matchsticks to condoms (did I just mention that the free condoms are from China these days?). Most of these sold out to their capitalist urges or just market forces, but I’ll take this chance to honour a commodity that has remained reasonably steadfast over the years – the good old mandazi. You can get that shit anywhere for 5 bob, not more not less. It is probably one of the last “untouchable” available today. Mandazi na chumvi. Too bad that can’t go too well with tea. That’s just how it is…
Saturday afternoon. I’ve decided I’ll do some reading. Save for a collection of Lenin’s (sometimes irritating) collection of speeches, letters and articles by Lenin on Imperialism and another on China’s venture in courting newly-independent Africa in the 60s with reasonable success today (I found out recently that our government-issue condoms are now CHINESE branded, Quandong or some shit like that, ignoring the irony of that joke about penis sizes across the continents – goddamned chinks! ), apart from those two books, I have read pretty much every tangible literature in my possession, everything else being in soft copy format. The last tangible book I bought was Kwani? 06 last year and consumed it within the week. It hits me that 70% of my reading has been entirely web-based – blogs, tweets, articles, that kind of thing. That’s just how we obtain information and get entertained these days (quoting from Laureezy’s blog post). I begin to envy the average man of the 17th and 18th Century, they had the privilege of enjoying the concept of the story primarily at its most basic form – orally, their enjoyment of the same limited only to the audience’s and the story teller’s imagination. The art of conversation was not lost to them or limited to 140 characters at a time. The use of “quite” and “rather” in describing something conveyed different nuances. To say that this state was complete bliss for them is a lie. Books and newspapers blew their minds, the advent of cinema and telecommunication as well, but there was something lost somewhere between then and now, I think – blame capitalism, blame globalization, blame anything else, but something was lost. But that is a story I have told many times before.
Saturday evening. I’ve slept most of the day, in fact as soon as two paragraphs into Lenin. Sleep has been accompanied by a mixture of dreams and nightmares. That kinds of nightmare about a six inch hook deep in your little toe and centipedes, squirming underneath your shirt, yeah. The worst nightmare though is the realization that I simply cannot do without electricity, it has become a basic human right, all the way up there with food and *ahem* internet. It has become an indispensible addiction that fuels other worse addictions. So maybe KPLC’s inefficiency is unintentionally in our best interests to wean us and make us psychologically prepared for the unlikely eventuality that the world goes to shit soon and suddenly. Isn’t 2012 the official year of the End of the World? How prepared are we for a calamitous world where the most basic of needs will be a struggle to find, let alone electricity or internet access? In the Kenyan context, the world has nearly gone to shit more than twice (1982 coup, 1992 clashes, 2007 PEV etc etc) – how ready are we to kick in our survival instincts? Will we be ready to eat our own dogs (they are among the first species to die in apocalypse theories anyway because we have BABIED their survival genes away for thousands of years), will we be ready to re-embark on nomadic lifestyles as our ancestors before us, will we be able to find hope if we do not even know the direction of Mecca or even Mount Kenya? Will we be able to believe that in the blackness of a modern Dark Age there will exist rays of hope?
* * *
Every now and then, I see an interesting ad on the digital billboard at the Haile Selassie roundabout. It goes something like:“BAD NEWS… THE ECONOMY SUCKS… *insert gloomy face* GOOD NEWS… PK CHEWING GUM STILL AT 5 BOB!! *insert happy face, mouth full of gum, or something that rhymes with gum*”
For those of us who still take lunch at Chips Msimamos – those fast food joints which get so full most you are standing while eating and those sitting eating as fast as the closest standing person because of the shame, the shame, the shame, like that shame of sitting in a face-me mat while a nyanye stands – for us, yes, the economy sucks. Everything seems to appreciate by the hour – fuel, bills, basic commodities, alcohol, data plans, healthcare etc etc. However, we still carry that blind faith that certain commodity process will never change. At certain point, the list of “untouchables” was rather long, ranging from salt to matchsticks to condoms (did I just mention that the free condoms are from China these days?). Most of these sold out to their capitalist urges or just market forces, but I’ll take this chance to honour a commodity that has remained reasonably steadfast over the years – the good old mandazi. You can get that shit anywhere for 5 bob, not more not less. It is probably one of the last “untouchable” available today. Mandazi na chumvi. Too bad that can’t go too well with tea. That’s just how it is…
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