The following is one of those rare gems born during a random disscusion yesterday with pals:
A cat was prancing about the hood minding most of its only business in the past one month or so - food.Yea the effects of the ODM-PNU nonsense had trickled down to the animal kingdom which ,by some strange reason, were not given the privilege of voting.Shame on KSCPA!
A huge percentage of rats had undergone a mass diaspora curtesy of the IDP trucks and sources at catnews.com reported that 78% more rats were dying of assisted suicide than as part of the cats' daily diet.Heck most cats had gone vegeterian anyway eating those leftover curries at Sikh temples. . .
So our cat (lets call him Jerry) passes a store room but pauses when his olfactory cells are assaulted by the rather long lost whiff of dried meat.By Jove!Jerry must beat the owner of meat to it.He circumvents round the store and aha there is a passage.An tiny hole-cum-crack on one of the holes.Jerry squeezes whats left of his bony self like a letter to a postbox.
The entire store is empty save for the huge chunck of meat.Probably the work of some of the looters who were shouting "Chungwa" endlessly like there was some Holy Orange they were looking for.Strange. . .they had the curtesy to lock the door and windows too.
Dear Jerry does not flinch but attacks the nyama with pent up emotion of all the days he spent on an empty stomach.Even if an atomic bomb would go off in the vicinity, post moterm reports would prove that Jerry boy didnt look up for even a second.The blimey cat went through the bones as well lyk a laser beam through paper.Thank God for small mercies.
After lickn the floor clean of every meat molecule 6hours later its tym for Jerry to leave. . .as for fate who provided the meal ya atrash (woteva that means)!But wait. . .Dear Jerry has grown so fat even his head cant fit through the hole.Whats to do, whats to do?
A day. . .2days. . .3days. . .a week pass n Fat Jerry still cant pass through kashimo.Memories of how happy and free he was as Tiny Jerry flash through his brain.The hunger bites and suffocates.2 weeks.It reaches a point he can literally taste the air.He is yet to register the shock of "kumbe i was that thin!". . .Finally, 3 weeks later, Tiny Jerry emerges from the stinkin depths of the storeroom...hungry, dishevelled and totally f.cked up worse than he was 3 weeks ago when he entered the blimey store.
But he has come out a wise cat. .He say "We may have an unsatiable greed to posess the world - money, men,kama sutra positions,women, safaricom shares, votes, power etc etc but our greed is just too great to be contained in the world as it is.The balance of nature will just not allow such a thing.So you better box yourself in or you will soon be trapped by the greatest b.tch of all time - Karma.!"
That is why a President of an African republic bought a limousine ,the only one of its kind, that requires purely good roads and only 8% of all roads are tarmacked.Shame.Where will he ride it?
Bokassa adorned his castle with pure gold while the Congolese people scraped through a dollar a day.Shame.
Idi Amin drove Ugandas economy to its knees to suffer masive inflation that couldnt be countered by the tonnes of cash he printed.Shame.
Some of our leaders rite here posses land the size of Provinces. . .now comes review of the land policy.I bet they are seated so tight they can crack a kolanut with their arseholes right now.
Leme not even start about December 30th 2007.Some people will be forever haunted.
Steal yes, but dont plunder.This universe cannot afford evil without a degree of shame.So lets balance the two.
Happy theiving. . .lets meet at the Anti-Corruption Court chambers to bribe the judge!
